Jul 22, 2012

Local Rider Attains Speeds of 24,000+ mph After Watching Tour De France

SP ride with Gordo - Interruptus by mcphilly at Garmin Connect - Details

If this is what riding with the svelte, hill-climbing monster Gordo as a domestique does for my performance, I am officially forming team Brooklyn Lager & Cheeseburger, and entering next year's Tour de NooYawk.


According to my Garmin Edge 305 unit, which has been specially calibrated by team technician Dr. Zum Finks Fugazi, we blew last month's garmin-registered 60 mph spurts out of the water with a quick 24,890+ mph burst of acceleration. At least according to the "Details" section stats in the chart below.

Sure we felt a few fast moments — attributable probably to a little help from the Garmin Satellite's gravitational tractor beams (a premium subscriber feature) as aliens attempted in vain to abduct us, during what was otherwise a tranquil 9.6 avg./ 12.1 mph. moving avg. day's ride — But everyone knows the electronics do not lie.

One of the shiny craft is visible to the right of Gordo in the photo at top.

Or maybe we were inspired by Bradley Wiggins and Mark Cavendish's Tour de France and Stage 20 win. I'm not sure what other ways we have to explain the one mad 24,862.9 mph dash, the unit recorded.

No doubt it might have happened while we were avoiding these strangely smiling extraterrestrials (see below). Other sources, instead believe it to be a hoaxmobile driven by none other than Lenny the Squid.



There were several sightings ... here's another






You be the judge.

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